My stupid cellphone wish list

December 19, 2005

Some folks like to extend existing technologies to do things they (the technologies) were never invented for in the first place. These folks do that mostly in the name of state-of-the-art and hype. They are fond of "repurposing" things. (But in fairness, some of these extensions are very useful, though. But they tend to be the exceptions, not the rules. )

Like in the case of cellphones. They evolved from simple mobile communication devices to multimedia mini-havens. They almost can do things other standalone devices dedicated to those things can do. You can shoot photos with them. You can shoot videos with them. You can listen to music with them. You can surf the Net with them. (Yep, via WAP, not Web — for now.) Heck, you can even reboot them!

In this post, I’m going to make my unsorted stupid Christmas wish list of twenty features I want (not!) cellphones to have someday. Some of them border on the half-sensible, while some are utterly absurd. I hope (not!) that they’ll get implemented soon!

Here goes my list:

1. A stylus
2. Touch screen
3. Microphone (Useful in karaoke bars!)
4. Flashlight (Nope, the background light is not bright enough!)
5. DVD player (and of course, a DVD drive!)
6. P2P (Limewire- and BitTorrent-like stuff)
7. Joystick (for games)
8. Cigarette lighter
9. Toothbrush
10. TV (must be cable- and TiVo-ready! Don’t worry, I won’t request an HDTV.)
11. Printer
12. Scanner
13. Surround sound system (for a more realistic experience!)
14. Deodorant (with the roll-on ball)
15. Network card (Hey! I can connect to your LAN using my cellphone!)
16. Faxing device (If you want more state-of-the-art, add VoIP.)
17. Swiss knife
18. Roller blades (No, don’t add ice-skating blades, I don’t skate on ice.)
19. Photocopier (i.e., the one that sounds like "zerox")
20. Mirror